Replant Yourself to Grow

Have you ever repotted a plant? A plant will stop growing when it’s reached its full capacity in a small pot.  It’s roots have taken up all the space in the soil that is available and it’s stems and leaves have taken up as much space as they are able given the size pot it’s in.  As long as it has a source of light and water it continues to live just as it is, not growing or shrinking, just staying the same.  But take that plant and repot it into a larger pot and watch what happens!  It grows!  New bits start to burst out from the ground, the leaves get greener, fuller, wider, reach farther.  It expands and takes up as much space as it’s given. 

                               "Houseplants and Clean Air" by Chiot's Run used under CC BY 2.0

Do you need a new, bigger pot?  Are you longing to replant yourself into something that will allow you to grow?  Sometimes we need to uproot ourselves and find a new pot to grow in.   That pot could be anything: a new job, a new location, a new relationship, a new hobby, a new class, a new dream, or it could be something simple like a new perspective, a new attitude.   

Here’s the catch though, when you take that plant out of it’s old pot, it is vulnerable.  You’re suppose to shake out the roots a little, stimulate the bottom of the plant so when you put it into new fresh soil it will take root.  It’s also important to give it water right after replanting it into that bigger pot with all that new soil.  The water helps to stimulate the roots, it makes the energy of the plant active, able to feed on the new materials, winding its way around this new territory.

It’s the same in our lives, we must be mindful of how vulnerable we are in the midst of transition. We can just pick up and go, we can move to a new location, we can change jobs, we can make new friends, we can get a new life.  We can shove ourselves into a new pot.  But unless we tend to ourselves, unless we water ourselves, unless we give ourselves the sunshine we need, we won’t take root.  We won’t grow like we need to.  We will continue to create the same situations with the same kinds of people over and over again because we’re still living in the old pot in our mind.    

The replanting isn’t just finding a new pot, the real task is caring for ourselves and our dreams once we’ve made the transition and being patient with our rate of growth.  Go easy on yourself.  Sometimes we want to be big already, we want to fill up the new pot right from the getgo, but as you know with a plant, it takes time, you can’t pull the green shoots out of the ground before they’re ready to come forth.  We must wait…but the waiting isn’t idle.  We are consistently watering it, exposing it to sunlight, and giving it love.  We are actively caring for ourselves and our dreams which needs to be acknowledged as progress in and of itself.  Just because you can’t see the results yet, doesn’t mean it isn’t growing. We must have faith and trust the plant will grow if we are tending to it properly. 

And if consistently cared for you will soon see the results of your patience and labor.  It will continue to grow…and grow and grow until one day you have to replant it again, or move it outside because it’s too big for your house!   

What's been your experience of replanting yourself?  Share in the comments below.  

The Art of Detachment

Now I don’t know what the word “detachment” conjures up for you.  It may carry negative connotations, it may mean self-protection or cool aloofness to you, but that’s not the kind of detachment I am writing about.  There is a spiritual concept of detachment, which is actually a very good thing and can be a lifesaver in desperate times.  I first learned about it from a great little book by Deepak Chopra called, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.  Detachment is the 6th law he talks about in the book.  It is probably 6th because the first 5 prep you enough that you can handle reading about detachment without having an ego freak-out.  If you read about detachment first you might chuck the book into the nearest garbage can (err...recycling bin).  Despite the potential for an ego freak-out, I am writing about it anyway because there is such a valuable lesson in it.  Here’s the definition straight from the book, “The Law of Detachment says that in order to acquire anything in the physical universe, you have to relinquish your attachment to it.  This doesn’t mean you give up the intention to create your desire.  You don’t give up the intention, and you don’t give up the desire.  You give up your attachment to the result.” 

You have a dream; a deep desire and you want it to come true.  In practicing the spiritual law of Detachment you can still hold onto that dream and desire, but you must relinquish how it comes about and what it looks like in the end.  The Art of Detachment allows for something different, but just as good, or even something better.  Sure you’re on this path, you’re committed to being an actor, painter, writer, artist.  You have a vision and clear goals of what that looks like.  But you can only control so much of what you envision, the rest is up to the mystery of the cosmos and often other people.  You can envision being the next recurring star on House of Cards, but what if there is something else, something better, something more fulfilling that your heart of hearts longs for, but you can’t see yet?  Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way writes, “Sometimes you shake the apple tree and the Universe delivers oranges.”  Still fruit, still good, just a different result that what you thought.  What would happen if you allowed for the possibility of oranges in the end? …(or bananas or pineapples or avocados?!)   

                                               "Orchard Row" by Liz West used under CC BY 2.0 

The Art of Detachment reminds me of the simple prayer, “this or something better.”  You don’t know how things will turn out, none of us do.  You think this thing that is happening to you right now is the most miserable thing in the world, but you have no idea where it will lead.  Many people that survive a life-threatening illness say the experience ends up being the biggest gift in their life because of what they learned and how their lives changed for the better.  Maybe you didn’t land that job because you need the fire in your belly to start your own project and if you keep booking the same kind of jobs you become comfortable, you sit back on your laurels and never take the reins and put into the world what is yours to do and share…that thing that you are really meant to be doing.  You know what I’m talking about.  There is greatness in you that longs to come out.  Don’t hold yourself back.  Begin it!  

The Art of Detachment is practiced when you relinquish your firm grasp on your dream and instead hold it open in your palm and say, “I really want this and I am working for it and I also allow for something even better to happen.”  My guess is you’ll be delighted with what the Universe can surprise you with! 

                                               Unknown creator 

Do you have an experience of letting go of the results only to be surprised with something better in the end?  Share it below in the comments!  

Jealousy is Just a Map

Jealousy keeps us in a rigid bitter place.  It cuts off our creative channel and compresses us into a very self-focused depressing perspective.  Who wants to live like that?!  Unfortunately I know jealousy well.  She and I have curled up together in the fetal position on the floor lamenting about what everybody else gets to do except for me.  I have spent many years as a blocked creative staring at the joys of other people’s creations and feeling horrible for not being where they are.  Add to that the guilt and self-hatred for feeling that way, after all, jealousy seems so frickin’ petty!  But here’s the truth to sooth your soul: jealousy is really just a road map.

                     "Map of Fuzhou City" by Toby Simkin used under CC BY 2.0 added text "Jealousy" from original 

The only reason you feel jealous is because you know you have it in you to do whatever it is you want to be doing.  The jealousy map is pointed in the direction where you see other creative people having fun doing what you want to be doing.  And the only reason you are not doing it yourself is because you’re blocked.  Not because you’re lazy, not because you procrastinate, not because you’re a loser, not because you’re not wanted…all of these tormenting thoughts are because you are blocked creatively, not because they are true.  So how do you get unblocked?

Dismantling the Block – Imagine an actual wall or roadblock built out of rocks and logs and debris.  If you were going to remove the roadblock so you could continue on your merry way, how would you go about it?  First you’ve got to look at it. You can’t pretend its not there, you’ve got to see it for what it is.  A roadblock.  Okay, what’s it made of?  That nasty thing your Sunday school teacher told you about your singing voice?  Not feeling supported or encouraged by your parents to pursue your creative goals?  A “friend” you trusted who shot down your great idea?  FYI: this isn’t placing blame, this is seeing.  You’ve got to see it to free it.  

Write it down, make a list, journal the hell out of it, speak it out loud to a trusted friend, scream it into your pillow, whatever you need to do to get it out of your body and somewhere else so it doesn’t belong to you anymore.  This is the process of dismantling.  

Now write some affirmations.  Here are some examples: I am a bright creative being.  I free myself to create.  I love myself back onto my creative path. I have so much fun creating what I love…you get the picture.  Make them up for yourself so they carry more meaning and power for you.  Post them where you will see them.  This is the process of putting on sturdy boots to continue the journey you want to take.  

                                                   "Path at Dohles Rocks" by Len  Matthews used under CC BY 2.0

Now, start taking some action.  Any action.  Go for a walk with your camera and take some pictures.  Sign up for an acting or improv class.  Take a dance lesson or just turn on some loud music and dance around your house.  Get together with some friends to see a movie.  Update your blog (hehe). Here’s the key: do the action with the intention that you are healing your inner creative artist and moving forward on your creative path.  That way it feels like a step forward in the direction of your dreams...because it is!  

You may not be accepting your Oscar tonight, but you have gotten up off the floor and taken a step forward instead of laying in the fetal position watching everyone else have all the fun.  You deserve to have fun too, so throw yourself a party honey!  Make some fun happen no matter what it is!  The Universe responds to fun and to action.  Use your jealousy as a road map to save yourself, the whole world is waiting for you! 

Don't Play a Nun

Don’t Play a Nun

This past weekend I gave a student in my workshop a scene from the screenplay, Doubt.  It is a 3-person scene and all three actors assigned to it are talented, driven performers.   The actress reading Sister Aloysius, the older nun, was very precise and her intention was clear, but she was so formal in her read that it seemed she was “playing a nun” or what her idea of a nun would be like, sound like, act like.  I asked her to drop the “sister act” and just use herself within these imaginary circumstances.   She knew exactly what I meant and read the scene again giving the character all of her own humanity.  It was engaged, passionate, conflicted, and super fun to watch.   She made her own discovery in our discussion afterward that the costume itself (if she was hired to play this role) would be enough to indicate “nun” and that she didn’t have to help sell it in the scene.  Exactly!

I believe it is always best to start with what you know and to use yourself.  Of course part of the fun of shaping a character is playing with physicality, voice, mannerisms, etc., but I believe those things come after you connect with the humanity of the character.  Start out playing the scene as you in the circumstances so you can really feel and understand the heart of the character and then begin playing with the outer layers to shape and form the differences between you.  

Do you feel like you step into the shoes of a character right away or do you work from the inside out? Let me know your thoughts or questions in the comments below!